I think you should always tune into that fear response, watching for flags and cues to exit. Even if it’s awkward. Even if ultimately you don’t bail. If something is off, let the Spidey Sense do its thing. Because scary shit happens in “safe” settings too.
I traveled through Europe for a month with a friend back in 2000. We were both 20, female, carrying backpacks. Waiting for a night train on the floor of a crowded station in Rome, we were suddenly targeted. A man stood over us, asking if we were American and muttering about what kind of women we were. We didn’t acknowledge him, and he said more and more vile things. We spoke Pig Latin to throw him off, but he talked endlessly about what dirty whores we were and what he was going to do to us. We were both terrified, and no matter where we moved he found/continued harassing us. Finally I begged him to leave us alone, loudly and frantically, hoping someone might notice and step in. Nope. We didn’t have phones or any idea where to turn. I tried to tell myself he was just a drunk asshole, but honestly this person *felt* dangerous. It made me sick, listening to him, his forced closeness. We’d been harassed plenty on that trip (including the time a guy ground his full boner into my hip on a packed bus and grinned when I confronted him), and this was different. So we hid out in the bathroom for over an hour, and finally snuck aboard our train. The whole night we were worried he would find us. We didn’t sleep. Odds are he was indeed just a drunk asshole, but I’ve never forgotten the feeling that this man would absolutely hurt me if he could.
I keep thinking about the poor woman in the scenario you painted… Could she have removed herself without being hurt? Or was it too late as soon as she stepped in the building? I can’t imagine anyone just running screaming at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, but what would be the ideal way to heed intuition here or in similar hypotheticals?
But being overly fearful isn't healthy either, so there has to be some balance if those spidey senses are particularly sensitive. Trusting my gut has never done me wrong, so I lean into it more often than not, but it's very much learned behavior.
As for my client: potentially. It's impossible to know. Hearing and listening to an instinct isn't always a viable pathway. I can see several ways how that scene could have played out, and very few of them result in a more favorable outcome when you're already on the staircase.
I think you should always tune into that fear response, watching for flags and cues to exit. Even if it’s awkward. Even if ultimately you don’t bail. If something is off, let the Spidey Sense do its thing. Because scary shit happens in “safe” settings too.
I traveled through Europe for a month with a friend back in 2000. We were both 20, female, carrying backpacks. Waiting for a night train on the floor of a crowded station in Rome, we were suddenly targeted. A man stood over us, asking if we were American and muttering about what kind of women we were. We didn’t acknowledge him, and he said more and more vile things. We spoke Pig Latin to throw him off, but he talked endlessly about what dirty whores we were and what he was going to do to us. We were both terrified, and no matter where we moved he found/continued harassing us. Finally I begged him to leave us alone, loudly and frantically, hoping someone might notice and step in. Nope. We didn’t have phones or any idea where to turn. I tried to tell myself he was just a drunk asshole, but honestly this person *felt* dangerous. It made me sick, listening to him, his forced closeness. We’d been harassed plenty on that trip (including the time a guy ground his full boner into my hip on a packed bus and grinned when I confronted him), and this was different. So we hid out in the bathroom for over an hour, and finally snuck aboard our train. The whole night we were worried he would find us. We didn’t sleep. Odds are he was indeed just a drunk asshole, but I’ve never forgotten the feeling that this man would absolutely hurt me if he could.
I keep thinking about the poor woman in the scenario you painted… Could she have removed herself without being hurt? Or was it too late as soon as she stepped in the building? I can’t imagine anyone just running screaming at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, but what would be the ideal way to heed intuition here or in similar hypotheticals?
But being overly fearful isn't healthy either, so there has to be some balance if those spidey senses are particularly sensitive. Trusting my gut has never done me wrong, so I lean into it more often than not, but it's very much learned behavior.
As for my client: potentially. It's impossible to know. Hearing and listening to an instinct isn't always a viable pathway. I can see several ways how that scene could have played out, and very few of them result in a more favorable outcome when you're already on the staircase.
Thank you for sharing.