Thank you for this discussion, I needed to hear it. For most of my life my answer to the question “What do you do?” has been “lawyer”. For the past year of retirement it has been “retired lawyer” or more recently “recovering lawyer”. Both of those responses are past tense, like whatever I was before, I am no more. Unexpectedly I now have to reevaluate how I identify myself outside the career I had for my entire adult life. Or, more directly, I’m once again asking that same question, “What do you want to be?”
What did you enjoy about being a lawyer? What did you not enjoy that you would prefer to not have to do again? I'm willing to bet, based on your writing and the fact that you were a lawyer, that you're also a good communicator, probably a strong connector and relationship-builder, etc. Now that you're retired, you're identity doesn't have to relate at all to a career or hobby or activity of any sort--but it totally can (you're a writer! But is that how you identify?)! What fuels your fire? What makes you genuinely happy?
Because I was that weird child, I wanted to be Anna Karenina when I grow up. Mostly because of her dead simple black velvet dress that makes Vronski fall instantly in love with her at the ball. Even after I found out about the train, I still wanted to be Anna Karenina. Later, in early adolescence, I wanted to be a dancer based on nothing more than inept dance routines I performed with my cousin to French disco music.
All of that checks! I love it. I have a ghost story for you, coming soon (related to the black velvet dress); and no, I'm not a believer, which makes the story soooo much better.
And: for whatever it's worth, when I said I wanted to be the Pink Power Ranger, I meant in both human and Power Ranger form-- but I think that's just because I had a big fat crush on her. And let it be known that I probably wanted to be a Power Ranger for far longer than is reasonable for a young person; it's one of the reasons I was so engaged in Tae Kwon Do growing up (the only real-life chance to be an agile ninja)
My personal experience has been trying to live outside of these boxes that society has made and how folks don't know how to interact with me when I don't fit. It's an interesting layer yo this discussion, how do you view the world and others (not just yourself) outside of this capitalistic framework?
Changing the narrative, one subscriber at a time! I talk to a lot of fresh entrepreneurs, and a lot of students, and it's incredible to see their energy shift and their demeanor change when I walk them through how to separate their identity from their work (or academics). It's noticeable when working with people who are trying to pivot careers, too. Once they have some different language to explain who they are, it's becomes so much easier to identify where and how they will be most engaged and happy.
Thank you for this discussion, I needed to hear it. For most of my life my answer to the question “What do you do?” has been “lawyer”. For the past year of retirement it has been “retired lawyer” or more recently “recovering lawyer”. Both of those responses are past tense, like whatever I was before, I am no more. Unexpectedly I now have to reevaluate how I identify myself outside the career I had for my entire adult life. Or, more directly, I’m once again asking that same question, “What do you want to be?”
Or *Who* do you want to be?
What did you enjoy about being a lawyer? What did you not enjoy that you would prefer to not have to do again? I'm willing to bet, based on your writing and the fact that you were a lawyer, that you're also a good communicator, probably a strong connector and relationship-builder, etc. Now that you're retired, you're identity doesn't have to relate at all to a career or hobby or activity of any sort--but it totally can (you're a writer! But is that how you identify?)! What fuels your fire? What makes you genuinely happy?
Because I was that weird child, I wanted to be Anna Karenina when I grow up. Mostly because of her dead simple black velvet dress that makes Vronski fall instantly in love with her at the ball. Even after I found out about the train, I still wanted to be Anna Karenina. Later, in early adolescence, I wanted to be a dancer based on nothing more than inept dance routines I performed with my cousin to French disco music.
All of that checks! I love it. I have a ghost story for you, coming soon (related to the black velvet dress); and no, I'm not a believer, which makes the story soooo much better.
And: for whatever it's worth, when I said I wanted to be the Pink Power Ranger, I meant in both human and Power Ranger form-- but I think that's just because I had a big fat crush on her. And let it be known that I probably wanted to be a Power Ranger for far longer than is reasonable for a young person; it's one of the reasons I was so engaged in Tae Kwon Do growing up (the only real-life chance to be an agile ninja)
Can't wait to hear/read the ghost story! Also, I feel like @agileninja should be your new social media handle.
Love the footnotes (omigosh, they're popups!) and personal anecdotes. And this topic is delightfully student-/person-centered — I'm here for it! ✨
My personal experience has been trying to live outside of these boxes that society has made and how folks don't know how to interact with me when I don't fit. It's an interesting layer yo this discussion, how do you view the world and others (not just yourself) outside of this capitalistic framework?
Changing the narrative, one subscriber at a time! I talk to a lot of fresh entrepreneurs, and a lot of students, and it's incredible to see their energy shift and their demeanor change when I walk them through how to separate their identity from their work (or academics). It's noticeable when working with people who are trying to pivot careers, too. Once they have some different language to explain who they are, it's becomes so much easier to identify where and how they will be most engaged and happy.
Your description of the pink power ranger outfit made me do a spit take. 😎