Did anybody make it out of this year unscathed?

I'm assuming no, so we're going to focus on changing that for this next go around the sun.

Hey! So, not sure if you noticed, but it’s been a bit since this newsletter has landed in your inbox. The last piece I wrote was during my final days of a month-long tenure in New York City, where I had run off to in a feeble attempt to try to take care of myself without the compulsion to also take care of everyone else around me. I say feeble attempt because, in retrospect, I’m not convinced I took full enough advantage of what was supposed to be a break from real life.

But it sure was pretty…

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely nailed some of my self care goals that month: I read several wonderful books, I kept up with our busy college essay season, my business partner and I hired our first employee, I saw nine shows, spent quality time with some of my favorite NYC inhabitants, covered over 100 miles of city streets on foot, got two of the most incredible massages I’ve ever experienced, completed several embroidery projects, visited The Hamptons for the first time, and even replaced my decade-old Chacos.

In case you missed it, my reason for running away was to try to process what a wild ride the year had been up until that point. I ended 2023 in Las Vegas, when a bed in a memory care facility became available the day my father was discharged from a several-week long hospital stay. I made it back home just in time to Top Golf my way into 2024 with Dave and some wonderful friends, and was back in Las Vegas days later to put out one fire or another. The first six months of the year were spent balancing running a business full time, traveling for work (and occasionally for play), and taking care of my father’s well being.

But at the end of June, two days after my birthday and the day of my friends’ wedding, after a violent rampage that left many doors, windows, and teeth broken, my father was escorted by the police from his facility (for the third time that week) and I was told he would not be allowed to return. The next day, I was back in Vegas moving his belongings from one place to another in 117 degree desert heat.

I was on a plane home fewer than 24 hours after landing in Vegas, because my father attacked me and I vowed to never see him again. It was upon my return from that trip that I realized I needed to spend some time in a new environment, so I booked my trip to New York. Before I could even get to the city, my father died unexpectedly and I suddenly needed that escape more than ever.

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This Year Changed Me

I started the year off with some kind of resolution to trust my gut and follow my heart, wherever it may lead. For the first half of the year, my heart was pulled in all sorts of directions: I tried to delicately balance the desire to be a good daughter to a shitty father, while also balancing being a present partner for Dave and college counselor for my students.

My gut led me to new and lovely friendships, better communication efforts, blasting some of my writing to the general public (including that tempered down op-ed in USA Today), reconnecting with several people who have been integral to my development (especially this year), lots of new craft projects, and so much more.

Within a week of my return from NYC, shit once again hit the fan with my grandmother’s sudden illness and subsequent death, followed in close succession by the death of a cousin, my father-in-law’s leukemia diagnosis, and a fractured foot. Through it all, I always had that resolution to fall back on. Follow my heart, trust my gut.

So I did: I trusted my heart and gut when they said to take a break from writing. I trusted them when they encouraged me to reach out to my community of friends for support, and when I got partway through a book and it felt like a chore to read it (so I took the liberty of just stopping). I trusted them to make decisions that were best for my father and for those whom I knowingly exposed to his wrath (there wasn’t really a way around that), and I trusted them when my body told me I needed to take more than a single day off from my marathon training schedule.

Most of all, however, I learned to trust them to change some of my habits to be more self-serving (more out of self-preservation than anything): I’ve somehow gone days or weeks without responding to non-urgent texts and emails, I’ve spent entire days writing and journaling until I felt a little better, and I’ve reinforced boundaries when I needed space and time to process everything.

For 2025, I’m starting with my feet planted on terra firma (I think). I plan to carry through the new year the same resolution as 2024, but this year, I’m allowing (and encouraging) myself to be more selfish. I’m going to say no to things just because I don’t want to do them, travel purely for the sake of pleasure and exploration (Iceland to start), avoid attempting to pour from an empty cup while still being the supportive friend I’ve always striven to be, and, most importantly, I’m going to be more intentional with where and how I spend my time.

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Things I Lost in 2024

• Father

• Grandmother

• Cousin

• My sanity

• My patience

• The desire to drink alcohol

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What I Accomplished in 2024 (in no particular order)

• Read a book every single day, without fail

  • Managed to read over 50 books as a result

• Got published in USA Today!

• Won a fancy schmancy award from the Independent Educational Consultants Association (IECA) for “demonstration of selfless service to colleagues”¹

  • Helped find and hire IECA’s new CEO

  • Lobbied Congress as a member of IECA’s Government Relations Committee

  • Helped develop the Business Growth Institute (which launches next month for IECA members)

• Started putting my nose to the grindstone to help get Prodigy Pod off the ground

• Helped over 100 students navigate their college and graduate school processes

• Increased my business’s revenue by 20%

• Visited 9 states

  • Traveled to NYC on five separate and equally incredible occasions (attended 12 shows, the Jimmy Awards, and ran through all five boroughs)

    • Attended the first night of the US Open

    • Ran the NYC Marathon (and smiled the whole time)

• Started writing on Substack

• Listened to almost 1000 hours of music

• Organized every room in our house

• Watched my sister-in-law get ordained as a Rabbi!

• Reached peak ambivalence about most non-urgent matters

• Learned to calm my own storm more readily

• Celebrated 8 years of marriage

• Expressed my gratitude outwardly

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What’s on the Horizon in 2025

Well, we’re ending 2024 with the flu, so we’re starting 2025 with it, too. Once the raging fever subsides, 2025 is looking to be a busy and exciting year:

• Dave and I are headed to Iceland in February (the first time we’re leaving the country in the 13 years we’ve been together)

• Another round of lobbying congress in March

• More writing (here, there, everywhere)

• Balancing running two companies (cautiously optimistic I’ll be able to balance my time with work and play, but it’s going to be an even greater adjustment than this year has been)

  • Prodigy Pod is having a big fundraising event in the virtual institution we’ve built, also in March. (more on this soon!)

• New York Marathon take 2 (November 2nd, 2025)

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It’s hard to predict what next year has in store. I’m exercising my privilege to limit my political news consumption, and I intend to do a better job of following my heart and trusting my gut. I’m approaching 2025 by manifesting a new theme: What fresh hell is this? (you know, to avoid disappointment). 2025 is going to be the year of selfishness, the year of finding equilibrium, the year of focusing on strength and not mere survival.

Are you ready to put 2024 behind you? Because I sure as hell am.

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Call to Action

This wouldn’t be a Subject to Change newsletter if there weren’t a call to action. I strongly encourage you to reflect on this past year, spend more time and energy recalling all of the incredible things you’ve done and seen while simply acknowledging the drudge and turmoil you experienced with your head held high. What are some moments you’re most proud of? What are some ways in which you can do better next year? What positive change can you muster from each experience you encountered throughout the year? What theme(s) are you manifesting for 2025? What about resolutions?

Feel free to share with me, with other readers, with family and friends and the world at large.

Let’s barrel into the new year with the strength and resilience of a person who could survive the absurdity of a hundred 2024s: together, with levity, with humor, with intellectual curiosity, an open mind, and a desire to grow.

I’m really glad you’re here,

J

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PS: I’m still finding my footing with this newsletter and I appreciate your patience as I figure this out. I’ve officially made the decision to modify Subject to Change to be a bi-monthly newsletter instead of a weekly newsletter (I’m not even sure yet if I mean twice a month or once every two months—stay tuned!) I’ll continue to share Narrative Musings along the way, so be sure to subscribe there if you like reading stories.

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1. Pretty sure it’s code for “not being an asshole on Facebook”